Itinerant Air-Cooled

What am I, Constable Flypaper?

But first, I have been busy . . . we painted the windshield channel at kleinevw's house under the apprising eye of kleinevw's spouse. Many color misses and "close enough"s that changed to "unacceptables" when the shadow came along and took out the dazzling effects of the sun's rays. Did anyone take a picture, Kris? Did your sweet snookums see the damn dam of paint that shoveled outward when we installed the windshield way too prematurely?

Has jimbear posted a properly remorseful revocation of his spurious accusations of my penchant for killing windshield wipers? It seems that they do work after all, when supplied with voltage anyway. Will zabo chime in and send me scurrying back into the dog house? Does anyone have photographs?

So, I made it out of Athens without any cops pestering me. I had an appointment to see VW Girl, one of my old customers back when I had the Road Warrior and the easy manner of the naive. Drove from Athens to Dallas GA in the typically horrid Atlanta metro traffic.




Naranja Westy has been getting colicky again. I of course went straight to Last Known Reason For Lousy Running, the fuel filter! Stopped at a NAPA and ordered up a fuel filter.
"We don't have any fuel filter for your vehicle, but we can get one."
"I'll take two."
"Hang on . . . man! We ain't sold one of those in years until, it looks like someo . . . "
". . . me."
"ordered it looks like . . .
". . . two."
" on December . . . "
". . . ninth."
"Man, the government could follow you around."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, he'd just follow your fuel filter purchases."
"So far, the government man would only assume I live near here."
"Yeah, ha, well hahaa, ha, right, Jimmy?"
( okaaaaaayyyyyy, mister, can I get my filter by tomorrow morning?)

Camped at the same spot where I had to jump-start into the brush pile:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12807&start=45#p217912
page 4 by Amskeptic » Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:31 am

Froze. Woke up in sunshine this time. Happily stripped off the air filter/ afm, s-boot, fuel injection harness, right side fuel hose run, oops, gotta pee, took off over the brush pile into the woods, did my business, here comes Mr. Officer Man #1 in a dashing Dodge Charger, Mr. Officer Man #2 in a Chevy Tahoe, Mr. Officer Man #3 in a old Crown Victoria. Holy crap.
I decide to wait behind a tree. Radios yak. Officers converse. I cannot make out what they are saying, my own discussion is crowding them out.
"Get out there, now."
"No, it is too weird to just walk out from the brush."
"The longer you wait, the less it seems like you just took a leak."
"Good point, but it is already too late."
"Go, you're an adult man on the end of an access road past a strip mall working on your car."
"No."
"GO!"
So I crashed through the brush back to the Officers All.
"What were you doing back there?"
"Taking a leak."
"That's a mighty long time to take a leak. What else were you doing back there."
( SEE?? )
"Walking."
"You were walking to take a leak?"
"Exactly."
"Then you walked back here?"
"Yes. My air filter is already in the back of the car, my fuel line and fuel injection harness are disassembled, I am removing my ignition wires, it is going to take two hours, and I am getting to work, here is my driver's license."
"Oh no. Hold on. Don't move unless we tell you to. It's for your own safety."
Then I caught a lucky break.
One of the cops was the exact same cop who wished me "Merry Christmas" just before I found out the battery had died back in December.
"Hey, I remember you! I found out my battery was dead seconds after you blasted out of here. I had to push start the car right into this brush pile. Lucky it started, huh?"
"Oh yeah, you're OK, he's OK. Say this van is looking really good."
The captain guy was apologetic, "didn't mean to get all curt on you, we have had reports of people dumping dead dogs back there."
So we chatted about dead dogs, people who don't deserve dogs or kids, dead deer carcasses and cop stuff, then Merry Christmas cop shook my hand, "good luck in your travels." They peeled their caravan of cop cars away and I finished installing the new wires (actually very very old new Bosch wires from 2008 or something).

Then I hit the road, because I don't like being interrogated about my peeing habits and if I need to walk five minutes in to take a leak, well, I am walking five minutes in to take a leak. Drove to an older Georgia town on the way to see VW Girl. This was snaking-country-road-past-ramshackle-shacks Georgia in the spring sunshine, and I liked it fine. Pulled off at a gravel road next to a gross new "Senior Living Center" in Powder Springs GA. Drove straight to the edge of the adjacent dirt lot and headed very slightly down the hill under the tree canopy and turned the car around. Backed slightly below the sight line of the senior center and set to work pulling off and painting the front bumper.

front (before color-sanding)






Engrossed and enjoying the sunshine, two coats of Rustoleum 2 X The Coverage! Gloss White Enamel, half hour dry, re-installed and already color-sanding when Powder Springs Officer #1 and #2, with #s 3 and 4 up the hill, come crashing down the dirt path on foot.
"What are you doing naked down here?"
"You talking to me?"
"Yeah I'm talking to you."
"Do you see me naked?"
"You were reported by a passing motorist as being naked."
"Can you see passing motorists from here?"
"Up on the bridge over there, yes."
"What are they wearing?"
"Well, I can't see that."
"Do you think they can accurately see me down here color-sanding my bumper?"
"Well they called it in. Look, I need to see some sort of identification, are you carrying a driver's license on you?"
"Not if I was naked, but here is my license, so I guess I am not naked."
"I am just responding to a call," retorted Officer #1. He waved up at the #3 and #4 cops, "it's all right."
"Did you just paint this? Is that paint on that thing? What is that thing? It has a stripe of paint."
Officer #2 had just noticed the pet carrier top that I had found in the underbrush, pressed into service as my paint booth.
"I painted the front bumper just now. It is going to look like the rear bumper which I painted in a truck stop parking lot two days ago."
Spying the license plate, "you're from New York. What are you doing down here?"
I explained my current career, finishing up with "I have an appointment here in Powder Springs."
Officer #1 suddenly warmed up, "I swear, my bucket list is to walk the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine. You are so lucky. That is quite a life style. What did you used to do?"
I told him how I made that fateful phone call to Cindy that ended my career with the HVAC company in New York.
"Man, sometimes I'd like to do that very same thing."
Officer #2 finally clears my good name with dispatch and hands me back my license.
Officer #1 sticks out his hand, "be safe out there on the road."
"I hope you do get to do the Appalachian Trail . . . "

They walked up the road, and I finished color-sanding and waxing the front bumper to an acceptable gloss in the next thirty minutes or so. As I drove up the hill with my really nice-looking bumpers, I spotted the officers four all congregated in the lot. What? Are they scouring the lot for some crime clues?
Nope. #3 and #4 had blasted in so fast that they blew a tire on some object.
I hollered out the window, "need assistance?"
"Couldn't find the jack!" They waved me out of there.

(really nice rear bumper)


I made it to VW Girl's house only fifteen minutes late with still really nice-looking bumpers.
If you are reading this, VW Girl, let's have your "after" photograph and I will post the "before" photograph.

Ahh, those passing motorists, they see what they want to see . . .
Colin


Colin

Ahh those good ole Georgia cops. Always suspicious and always making accusations. At least from my experience in living there for ~14 years.

It's all right with me, really.
If you want to paint nude & dump dog carcasses,
it okay, nobody perfect...

Filthy Dub wrote:Ahh those good ole Georgia cops. Always suspicious and always making accusations. At least from my experience in living there for ~14 years.

I have a more charitable outlook. I can see the perspective from which they have to view the parade of human diversity, and try to give a neutral relaxed demeanor so I can be an easy call for them.

Of course, I am an english-speaking white guy with a clean car, so it is easier for me to get them at ease.

Nobody is going to ask how that last photograph came into being? FINE. So much for my edgy photography exhibit at MOMA.
Colin

tewa3240 wrote:It's all right with me, really.
If you want to paint nude & dump dog carcasses,
it okay, nobody perfect...

Why thank-you for your understanding, but please get it straight,
I PAINT dog carcasses and . . . oh never mind.
Colin

Nobody is going to ask how that last photograph came into being? FINE. So much for my edgy photography exhibit at MOMA.

Just figured that was the posse of back-up singers you were bringing with you on this year's IAC Tour de USA.
Or a source of durable plastic from which to whittle various bus repair bits.

Colin, How did that last photograph come to be?

Inquiring minds want to know!

vwlover77 wrote:Colin, How did that last photograph come to be?

Inquiring minds want to know!

You know how it happens,
park a beautiful VW camper anywhere,
& the hairless nubile lovelies want IN.
It happens.
Sorry 'bout the cop hassles Colin,
but you're handling them with aplomb.
look at it this way: people tend to amplify
what they thought they saw when going 911
or whatever #s they punch to beckon the authorities.
Thank your lucky stars they didn't claim you had a Bowie knife
& an M1A1, muttering about President Jimmy Carter.

Nobody is going to ask how that last photograph came into being? FINE. So much for my edgy photography exhibit at MOMA.

Colin, it seems your running into those ladies pretty frequently, the 2016 iac naked mannequin count is up to 4 now ;)

Could have sworn those dames were Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love" back-up singers!

zabo wrote:

Nobody is going to ask how that last photograph came into being? FINE. So much for my edgy photography exhibit at MOMA.

colin, it seems your running into those ladies pretty frequently, the 2016 iac naked mannequin count is up to 4 now ;)

You are right about that! I just remembered that you had a damsel trapped on some screened-in rampart.
Mannequin, oh Mannequin, let down your . . . let down your, um, ah never mind.

How's your wiper switch, that detentless embarrassment?
Colin

vwlover77 wrote:Colin, How did that last photograph come to be?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Why thank you for asking, vwlover77, I'm not telling.
Colin

Amskeptic wrote:You are right about that! I just remembered that you had a damsel trapped on some screened-in rampart.
Mannequin, oh Mannequin, let down your . . . let down your, um, ah never mind.

How's your wiper switch, that detentless embarrassment?
Colin

Wiperswitch is working but a bit finicky.
I found a used wiper and turn switch for $30 on ebay that should be arriving soon. The repop wiper switches are pretty expensive ($135) and dont look that great. Hopefully this used one will include a detent. :)

Seeing how this thread has turned, thought it would be appropriate to share a story .....

My wife and I, and my sister-in-law and her BF at the time went to a Kid Rock concert out at Pine Knob (aka DTE Energy Theatre....but hey for us folks who group up in the 70's and 80's it's still called Pine Knob). We made a whole day of it, think we were one of the first two dozen cars let in to the parking lot. Of course we drove the bus. We grilled, had a few cold ones and were having a grand old time. The young ladies LOVED the bus. I must have had four or five groups of them want a tour, or take their picture of the bus. Of course, we obliged. There were two young guys in their twenties who were parked next to us tailgating as well observing all of this. After a couple of hours of this they came over and said, "Damn, you get more ass than a public toilet seat!" My wife and I had a good laugh about this.

vwlover77 wrote:Colin, How did that last photograph come to be?

Inquiring minds want to know!

OK, I was driving on GA 20 west when the engine went into a balky stutter. Bailed off the road into a mall lot and coasted to the side of the building in preparation for a fuel filter clean-out. There, next to the dumpsters were three headless mannequins "you must be freezing out here". I thought it would be funny to photograph them and had to use the jalousie window to hide their leglessness and headlessness.

Yeah, so anyway, the janitor's assistant underling at MOMA's photography division called back and said that there wasn't enough interest. Working on getting an exhibit at the bowling alley outside of Nowherehere, Nebraska.
Colin