Itinerant Air-Cooled Dotty In NJ
Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:32 pm
I have never thought to race a house. It would be unseemly. Yet, that is what happened on I-83 north of Baltimore. I just wanted to get by the damn highway hogging house. Chloe is very genteel, very demure in the presence of modern cars, but I asked her to kick some butt against this house, so we could see the road again. I even waited until a downhill, because you sort of have to with a 44 net horsepower 1600 up against a 600 square foot house. We couldn't do it. I backed off at 67 mph, and the stupid house just barreled down the hill against the tropical storm force wind. For over 40 miles, I could not get around this hideous view blocker, this prefabbed vinyl clapboarded highway pig. Since when is a house allowed to cruise at 65 anyway? I won only by default when the house had to perform a rest stop. As I nowhere-near-triumphantly drew abreast of the house, I saw that it was being hauled by a battle-axe Kenworth with a "Maryland Mobile Home Movers" sign on the door.
It was August 2001 when I re-dotted the headliner in the Road Warrior. Nine days and a mathematically-extrapolated 68,000 dots later, it looked somewhat more like it did when it came from the factory. Well, ol' Chloe has the same bleached-out headliner panels along the side windows and at the sun visors and the right rear quarter panel. So while I was driving down some wickedly curvy "Chapel Hill Road" in the hills of Pennsylvania, I thought to pull into an abandoned parking lot behind an old barn that was for sale to address this issue..
Man, twelve years after the Road Warrior's Sistine Chapel Lite, I am clearly not the focused autistic artist I once was. The headliner dotter machine at Volkswagen circa 1969 was far gentler on the vinyl than it was in 1972 when the Road Warrior was built. Without those subtle little dents that helped guide me twelve (!) years ago, I got lost again and again. My Sharpie marker was not in the mood to give me a decent dot, preferring instead to slap little skid marks at release. My joints and muscles and ligaments are no longer half so amused by my contortions in the service of such silliness as they were twelve (!!) years ago:
Rear Quarter At Noon:
Rear Quarter At 2:15:
Got totally overheated in the muggy afternoon, so I hit Route 222 for a breeze all the way to Interstate 78 into New Jersey. I am sooo feral now, I cannot tolerate the density of human habitat found here in the northeast. Finally found a path off a power line access road here in New Jersey, just 68 miles from New York City. I am sitting on a paved turnaround in a field, trees, fields, stars, crescent moon, very happy in the evening peace.
So, I decided to dot the front header under the visors. My neck quickly said, no way.
So I dotted the b pillar behind the driver's door until my back said, no way at this very point:
Then my Sharpie said, no way. An unexpected infusion of urethane reducer sauce in the Sharpie brought it back to life.
Then I went back to the header until my neck said, really no way. Halfway done at least:
Then I went back to the b pillar and finished it just as my back said, you're finished:
Retro1302 in the morning, good night . . .
Colin
It was August 2001 when I re-dotted the headliner in the Road Warrior. Nine days and a mathematically-extrapolated 68,000 dots later, it looked somewhat more like it did when it came from the factory. Well, ol' Chloe has the same bleached-out headliner panels along the side windows and at the sun visors and the right rear quarter panel. So while I was driving down some wickedly curvy "Chapel Hill Road" in the hills of Pennsylvania, I thought to pull into an abandoned parking lot behind an old barn that was for sale to address this issue..
Man, twelve years after the Road Warrior's Sistine Chapel Lite, I am clearly not the focused autistic artist I once was. The headliner dotter machine at Volkswagen circa 1969 was far gentler on the vinyl than it was in 1972 when the Road Warrior was built. Without those subtle little dents that helped guide me twelve (!) years ago, I got lost again and again. My Sharpie marker was not in the mood to give me a decent dot, preferring instead to slap little skid marks at release. My joints and muscles and ligaments are no longer half so amused by my contortions in the service of such silliness as they were twelve (!!) years ago:
Rear Quarter At Noon:
Rear Quarter At 2:15:
Got totally overheated in the muggy afternoon, so I hit Route 222 for a breeze all the way to Interstate 78 into New Jersey. I am sooo feral now, I cannot tolerate the density of human habitat found here in the northeast. Finally found a path off a power line access road here in New Jersey, just 68 miles from New York City. I am sitting on a paved turnaround in a field, trees, fields, stars, crescent moon, very happy in the evening peace.
So, I decided to dot the front header under the visors. My neck quickly said, no way.
So I dotted the b pillar behind the driver's door until my back said, no way at this very point:
Then my Sharpie said, no way. An unexpected infusion of urethane reducer sauce in the Sharpie brought it back to life.
Then I went back to the header until my neck said, really no way. Halfway done at least:
Then I went back to the b pillar and finished it just as my back said, you're finished:
Retro1302 in the morning, good night . . .
Colin