Insanity, end of the world, etc.

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Ritter
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Insanity, end of the world, etc.

Post by Ritter » Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:30 pm

OK, at risk of alienating some of you (my anonymous soundingboard), I present this stream of conciousness (with typo edits):

Insanity. Do you know when it happens to you? I wonder.... These days, I’m not sure I’m all there. No voices, no little people in my head. Just the oppressive feeling that I’m waiting for something to happen. Am I excited about it? Scared? I don’t know. Apprehensive maybe. The world is not shaping up to be as we’ve been told. I see the end of things. Not all things, just the ones we’re used to.

Cars. Who needs ‘em? Well, that’s the way most of us get to work, to see family, friends. Can we live without them? Sure, but not in this place—not in this way.

Electricity. Well, if there’s no one able to get to the power plants, the big E isn’t going to be around for most of us.

Climate. Yeah, well, maybe more of us will have beach-front property. This one makes the others seem pretty small when you really think about it. Wow, the crops won’t grow because the temperature belt and water availability have shifted.... Who would’ve thunk? Oh, right, those pesky scientists (some of us believed you).

Yeah, three biggies. I’m not sure what our world looks like without those three, but it can’t be all that and a bag of chips. Fuck. Maybe I am losing it. Who but a madman would conjure up these visions? We’ve been trained since birth to consume. The more you consume, the better person you are. Support the economy—it’s patriotic, fuckers. But what if it’s not sustainable?

I dunno. Maybe there’s something to be said for the romanticized worlds of yesterday. A cobbler’s life was a simple one. Hard yet simple. Me, I’d probably run a turnip truck.

Nobody wants to talk about it. I try with my wife but I can see the notions I suggest make her uncomfortable. She’s kind enough to tell me I’m not nuts and that maybe I’m a visionary who sees the big picture. Then she doesn’t mention it again.

Mom seems to relate and so does dad. But neither are in my space to talk to in great depth. It’s troubling that mom has become a doomer recently. Maybe it was her second divorce. She used to be pretty positive. Dad’s always collected guns just in case. Christ, maybe insanity is hereditary....

One old time friend thinks the peak oil theories are flawed. He’s an economist (PhD type) and continued growth (ad infinitum) is part of his religion. How could we run out of economically available oil? Not possible. Growth must continue.

I tried to breach it with another friend this weekend. He gets that we’re in a big fucking mess but clings to the belief that alternative energies can save us. Well, good fucking luck is all I can say. Nothing we can create in the near-term will replace the work we accomplish on the back of oil. Nothing. Period. Don’t believe me? Google EROEI. Read a little. Weep a little. If predictions are true that we’re at peak or even 10 years away, how do we gear up to replace with alternative energies that only produce a fraction of the energy that oil does in 10-20 years? It would take longer than that just to replace all of the vehicles on the road.... Then add the biggie wildcard of climate change. Uhg.

I guess what really worries me is that this shit has begun to pervade my dreams. Do most people dream of the end of the world the way we know it? I know many a story has been written about those characters (fictional and otherwise) that predict the end of the world. Have I become one of them? There’s no religion in my dreams. Unless you count capitalism, productivity, progress and the like. How do you know when you’ve reached the edge? Is peak oil synonymous with peak sanity? I’ve felt an underlying tension amongst many people lately. Maybe we all know the game’s up but most won’t admit it. Admission goes against the grain of our capitalist religion.

Then there’s this whole Iraq clusterfuck. Is this the beginning of the last great wars for control of the remaining oil? A last grab for a few more year’s supply? My aunt was a heroin addict (I say was because she ultimately lost the battle). The behavior is not entirely foreign to me.

I feel these things. I rationalize these things based on available data. I find truth in these things. I believe the truly insane aren’t aware of their condition. What if I’m not insane. That worries me most of all.

(oh, and this weekend I'll be replacing brake lines if it's not raining)
1978 Westfalia 2.0 FI

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Velokid1
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Re: Insanity, end of the world, etc.

Post by Velokid1 » Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:39 pm

Ritter wrote: (oh, and this weekend I'll be replacing brake lines if it's not raining)
Hey! Keep it On-Topic, will ya? Jeesh! If you want to go off on some VW tangent, take it to the tech forums!!!

:geek:

Nice post, Ritter. Let it all hang out.

Except for that... you shouldn't let that thing hang out in public.

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Post by DjEep » Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:53 pm

So I'm not the only one?

I see the signs of a coming...change.

I am...anxious. Like you. Not scared, not looking forward to it. Starting to seriously consider learning to sustain myself sans society.

It has happened before, we aren't special.
"Live life, love life. Enjoy the pleasures and the sorrows. For it is the bleak valleys, the dark corners that make the peaks all the more magnificent. And once you realize that, you begin to see the beauty hidden within those valleys, and learn to love the climb." - Anonymous

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Ritter
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Post by Ritter » Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:54 pm

Damn, man. You're up later than I am! Got to get to bed...the borg becons.....
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Ritter
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Post by Ritter » Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:56 pm

DjEep wrote:So I'm not the only one?
Well, at least now you know there's one more.... Got to get some sleep. Too much wine and work is early. Some things never change--or do they?!

Yeah, change is in the air. Not sure I like it.
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Post by Westy78 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 12:16 am

Nope you guys aren't alone in this thinking. In a way, it comforts me at the same time it scares the shit out of me. Mother Nature has a way of balance. Maybe this is the next step. The question is, is Nihilism the only way?
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zblair
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Post by zblair » Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:08 am

10:54pm is early dude (says the student)...wonder what time this board is set too. It says 12am but it's actually 2am as I write this. Must be Pacific?

You're definitely not alone, not by a longshot. And as DjEep mentioned, anxiety about the status quo can be a frightening thing, with or without any substance in my body to alter my perceptions and for the record, I am mostly without.

When I get into the space you're in on this side of that anxiety, I generally start writing (as you have) to get out my pov, or I reckon what I can do in my small part of the universe to make a difference somewhere because imho we are all part of the whole. I'd like to think that doing something productive (and that can fall under a lot of heading that) will be beneficial.

What about taking your anxiety and making it a framework for a novel? Just a thought here. If you're going to get it down on paper, maybe do so in a way that you can raise awareness and call to action other people who may be equally anxious or despondent? A current John Galt could be a good thing, kwim?
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Post by Ritter » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:27 am

Westy78 wrote:In a way, it comforts me at the same time it scares the shit out of me.
I understand that sentiment completely. Creepy feeling, eh?
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Ritter
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Post by Ritter » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:40 am

zblair wrote:You're definitely not alone, not by a longshot. And as DjEep mentioned, anxiety about the status quo can be a frightening thing, with or without any substance in my body to alter my perceptions and for the record, I am mostly without.
Wine seems to lubricate the fingers as well as the tongue (although my typing rate does seem to decline....). However, the feeling is there sans wine.
zblair wrote:When I get into the space you're in on this side of that anxiety, I generally start writing (as you have) to get out my pov, or I reckon what I can do in my small part of the universe to make a difference somewhere because imho we are all part of the whole. I'd like to think that doing something productive (and that can fall under a lot of heading that) will be beneficial.
I usually go out in the yard and work it over--bring order to chaos. You know, perpetuate the myth that I am in control of nature? But when it's dark and raining and my wife and little girl are in bed, I hit the keyboard--cathartic.
zblair wrote:What about taking your anxiety and making it a framework for a novel? Just a thought here. If you're going to get it down on paper, maybe do so in a way that you can raise awareness and call to action other people who may be equally anxious or despondent? A current John Galt could be a good thing, kwim?
Thanks for the idea, but I'm no writer. Plus all I do at work most days is pound the keyboard. Bleh.

Anyway, it's nice to be able to "talk" with you all. Odd that it's easier sometimes to discuss this sort of thing in the safety of cyberspace devoid of uncomfortable body posture and worried looks! :cyclopsani: (wait, there's one)
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zblair
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Post by zblair » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:55 am

Gotcha. I like to work in our yard too, bringing order to chaos. :alien:
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Post by Velokid1 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:37 am

My guess is that even the people who aren't consciously aware of their anxiety are still being subjected to it on a subconscious level. The world has some pretty ugly stuff going on and some pretty ugly, fear-based thoughts being projected. Our bodies, our planet, our collective consciousness and our collective consciences know that something is amiss.

What are you [what am I] going to do today to help restore balance? Million dollar question.

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Post by zblair » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:05 am

Think globally, act locally
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Ritter
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Post by Ritter » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:10 am

Velokid1 wrote:

What are you [what am I] going to do today to help restore balance? Million dollar question.
See, that's where my desperation comes into play. I suspect there is not a damned thing any of us can do to restore the balance at this point. Sometimes I'm reminded of the classic criminal on PCP that's been shot in the chest several times. He's still running--he just doesn't realize he's dead yet. Are we the proverbial chicken with its head cut off? I don't know.

I do know that it's going to be mighty painful for the vast majority of us to do without if we really are at the peak of oil production. We, as Americans, don't know what that means. Even those of us with economic "sustainable" lifestyles have no idea.

Goddamn, I'm a downer. Sorry.
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Post by Velokid1 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:24 am

Peak Oil is going to bring hard times. The bulk of Americans who are alive today weren't old enough to experience the Depression, so we have a rose-colored idea of our government's and our economy's imperviousness and resilience. Which isn't to say that we aren't resilient, but with resilience and oil both, it's not about whether it exists but whether there is enough to go around.

The closer you are to the bottom, the more ouchy you're going to feel. Likewise, the more emotionally attached to your current privileged way of life and the more entitled you feel to your comfort and convenience, the more likely you will be to suffer greatly. So the wealthy will be crying, too. They'll be crying from the balconies of their huge homes overlooking brown-grassed golf courses, but they'll still be crying.

If you stand back from it all (and ignore all the suffering and indignation and violence), it's actually a pretty damn interesting science experiment that's happening before our eyes. Grab a picnic basket and head to a grassy hilltop in your mind and allow yourself to be a spectator every once in a while. These are interesting times, are they not?

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Post by DjEep » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:30 am

That is what alays my natural fear. The curiousity to see how it all goes down. When it's Arizona Bay time I want to be ready with my speedo :geek:
"Live life, love life. Enjoy the pleasures and the sorrows. For it is the bleak valleys, the dark corners that make the peaks all the more magnificent. And once you realize that, you begin to see the beauty hidden within those valleys, and learn to love the climb." - Anonymous

Do you want to Survive? Or do you want to LIVE?

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