Deer Hunting Season

[WILEYVW]

Decades ago I used to live in west tennessee. Deer hunting up there is a right of passage. So I go out and get a .308 semi-automatic rifle, 5 shot magazine for multiple targets with a 95x scope that allows you to see the ticks on the deer before you shot him. Of course you carry a .38 caliber in a sholder holster in case you need to do in a cripple or you are terrorized by a mad racoon. Two Knives one a little bigger than rambo because you are out in the woods and a specialized skinning knife so you can dress Bambi when you kill her. And it is also handy to open things. A small folding hoist that allows you to hoist Bambi off the ground for the cleaning chore and to eat the heart if you saw "Red Dawn" Camo coat, pants, socks, boots, boxers with deer on them so you know what your hunting and then a bright dayglo orange vest so the other friendly hunters dont shoot you in a drunken stupor as it is the custom to put a 1/2 pint of brandy in your coffee vacuum bottle to ward off the cold. Then you take your specially built combination tree climber, deer stand, portable ATC Tower strapped to your back out in the field at 4:30AM in the morning cause you know the deer sleep in and you will be ready to ambush them when they get up. You shinny up the tree to pull the tree climbing deer stand up because there is obviously some technique to this that was not mentioned in the instructions. It is now Double Oh Dark thirty and you are cold, bleeding, hung over and uncomfortable. You next tie yourself to the tree with the sholder strap on your weapon because you, the tree, and the stand sway in the breeze as you stand up to take the pee you didnt have to do before you climbed up. You are of course up wind so the deer cant smell you and your pee covered pants. And then for the next three hours you scan the horizon with your 95 power scope looking for anything that moves, it is times like these when power line insulators are at great risk. 9ish you head back to camp eat some jerky soaked in beer fall asleep get up eat dinner get drunk and get ready to head out into the field. Deer hunting is a wonderful sport.

[turk]

Nice. Especially the part about the boxers.