Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Moderators: Sluggo, Amskeptic

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Amskeptic » Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:07 pm

You all might not know that I am the multi-millionaire CEO of Kellogg's and am devoted to rotting out the teeth of all of your precious children before their fifth birthday.
So, anyways, I thought I would stop by the office and pick up my mail on my way through. "My, that's quite the tan," sniffed my secretary who I pay only $8.75 an hour. "Why hello there Mr. Kellogg," boomed that toady VP of Marketing, "it is good to see you stop by once in a while, hahaha. . . that's quite the tan you got there, hahah, if you wore clothes, perhaps you'd have slightly less of a tan, heh, haha." "Shut the hell up," I replied cheerfully as I instructed the courier to run and get the mail room cart to dump all of my Inbox messages into. "Send them over to the shredder." "Sir?" "You heard me." But the top inbox Post-It note caught my attention. "RSVP ASAP. Chiang Shanghou-Nijongf called, what to do with the Frosted Flakes ethylene glycol, CALL." Too late. That one goes to the shredder too, I guess, screw 'em, I'm air-cooled. "Mr. Kellogg, WE already DELAYED our Statement Of Earnings, you MUST sign off this accounting verification. Mr. Kellogg, where are you GOING?" "TrollFrom DownBelow's if you must know." "EXCUSE ME?" "Bye."
Yes, life is good, just gotta steer clear of the Board on my way out to hit the road to the Detroit. . . "Mr. Kellogg, Mr. Kellogg, please, a minute?" "Yes, what is it?" "The Gulfstream, it's about the Gulfstream, the Board wants to sell it because you refuse to use it and we have a group of annoyed VPs who think the lease rules should be relaxed so they can use it." "Of course, where is the requisition form?" "Um, gee, really, wait a sec, it's right here, wow!" "Point out to the Board that I have initialed. . . here, see? that the jet is to be sold to the second highest bidder only."

Yeah right.

So it is 62* and raining steadily with lots of mist all over the I-94 corridor. Good thing I called The Sage before hitting Traverse City. . . . "I'm in Iowa! My bus won't run, I am waiting for a tow!" "Can I come help you?" "Ah, no. I have a guy out here, I have to fly to Denver, I'll pick it up on my way back." So I was going to use this free day (this Wrecked My Budget free day) to get my Fall Weatherproofing done with paint/undercoat touch-ups, but the rain said "no."

As did my credit card when I gassed up this morning. . . .
Colin
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

User avatar
hambone
Post-Industrial Non-Secular Mennonite
Location: Portland, Ore.
Status: Offline

Post by hambone » Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:01 pm

Crap! Tho I did enjoy your ether-fueled tale. Weird that Kellogg started as a health-nut and sanitorium.
http://greencascadia.blogspot.com
http://pdxvolksfolks.blogspot.com
it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine
your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat

User avatar
the sage
Bus Ad Archivist
Location: Traverse City, MI
Contact:
Status: Offline

Post by the sage » Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:36 pm

Colin,

Sorry I missed your Great Lakes Visit. As we were discussing...

I was too busy broken down in Granville IA to be home where I should have been.

I need to completely rebuild the dizzy, and find the adjusting screw that fell into one of the push rod tubes...

Sage
1977 Sage Deluxe Campermobile

Visit VW Sage Ad World Today!

User avatar
vwlover77
IAC Addict!
Location: North Canton, Ohio
Status: Offline

Post by vwlover77 » Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:52 pm

K - E - Double L, O, Double - Good!

When will you be passing through northeast Ohio? Seems the good weather will return Thursday.
Don

---------------------------
78 Westy
71 Super Beetle Convertible Autostick

"When we let our compassion go, we let go of whatever claim we have to the divine." - Bruce Springsteen

User avatar
Sylvester
Bad Old Puddy Tat.
Location: Sylvester, Georgia
Contact:
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Sylvester » Tue Oct 02, 2007 6:07 am

Amskeptic wrote:As did my credit card when I gassed up this morning. . . .
Colin
Uh oh, I hate when that happens. What ever do you do to scrounge money for silly things like gas, diet coke, and cigs out there?
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue, I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace. Where never lark, or even eagle flew. And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod, The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Post by Amskeptic » Tue Oct 02, 2007 6:51 am

vwlover77 wrote:K - E - Double L, O, Double - Good!

When will you be passing through northeast Ohio? Seems the good weather will return Thursday.
I will be passing through just about round the 5th-ish.
CEOonthelam
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Amskeptic » Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:08 am

Sylvester wrote:
Amskeptic wrote:As did my credit card when I gassed up this morning. . . .
Colin
Uh oh, I hate when that happens. What ever do you do to scrounge money for silly things like gas, diet coke, and cigs out there?
Glad you asked. I use my credit card for fuel (averaging $1,100.00/m) and I use another credit card for lodging (averaging say $400.00/m) and I use youse cash-paying customers for cash expenses like Diet Coke ($766.54/m) food ($3.53/m) and cigarettes ($1,988.67/m) Life is good,cough, cough.
Colin
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

User avatar
bretski
Ellipsis-Meister
Ellipsis-Meister
Location: out of hibernation...for now
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by bretski » Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:27 am

Amskeptic wrote:Glad you asked....and I use youse cash-paying customers for cash expenses like...cigarettes ($1,988.67/m) Life is good,cough, cough.
Colin
Hmmmmmmm. I was gonna invite you back next summer, but now that I'm supporting RJR instead of Exxon-Mobil, I might have to pass.

...a fella has to have standards, you know. :cherry: :cyclopsani: :bom:
1978 Deluxe Westfalia - "Klaus"

"transcripts are overrated. hardware store receipts: those are useful." --skin daddio

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Amskeptic » Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:00 am

bretski wrote:
Hmmmmmmm. I was gonna invite you back next summer, but now that I'm supporting RJR instead of Exxon-Mobil, I might have to pass.

Dear friend,
We at RJR are proud of our contribution to American life. We take issue with your character assassination of our client, Mr. Kellogg, and strongly recommend that you, friend, think carefully about perhaps unintended consequences that may arise from your unfair and frankly scurrilous claim that our client, Mr. Kellogg, is some sort of "smoker" or other unsubstantiated allegation. We take pride in our many fine combustible products whose end stream is ingested or inhaled for sustenance or comfort.
Insincerely Yours,
RJR
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

TrollFromDownBelow
IAC Addict!
Location: Metro Detroit
Status: Offline

Post by TrollFromDownBelow » Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:51 am

Colin -

Sorry to hear about your plight....If you get this before you check in someplace, just want to reiterate my offer... you are more than welcome to crash at my place...I won't be there tonight, but the door is unlocked..... myself and Lisa will be there by 9a ready to go. I have to do some plumbing work tonight at Lisa's (no seriously) ... she's got a hot water leak thats dumping about 5 gallons every other day into her basement.
1976 VW Bus aka tripod
FI ...not leaky, and not so noisy...and she runs awesome!
hambone wrote: There are those out there with no other aim but to bunch panties. It's like arguing with a pretzel.
::troll2::

User avatar
Sylvester
Bad Old Puddy Tat.
Location: Sylvester, Georgia
Contact:
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Sylvester » Wed Oct 03, 2007 1:40 pm

Amskeptic wrote: I use another credit card for lodging (averaging say $400.00/m) and I use youse cash-paying customers for cash expenses like Diet Coke ($766.54/m) food ($3.53/m) and cigarettes ($1,988.67/m) Life is good,cough, cough.
Colin
Boy you are a cheap date. I assume you sleep in cheap motels, and not every night either. What is your ratio in a month of motel vs Bus? Also, even on a cheap DAY, $3.53 is not much on the Taco Bell value menu, and is only 22 packs of ramen noodles. Let's see, 22 packs divided by 3 meals a day is only 7 days and a breakfast. Oh great Nomad of the Transporter tribe, how do you subsist in the badlands in your quest?
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue, I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace. Where never lark, or even eagle flew. And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod, The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

User avatar
BlissfullyCrusin
Getting Hooked!
Location: A human cesspool wedged between MD and VA
Status: Offline

Post by BlissfullyCrusin » Wed Oct 03, 2007 3:05 pm

Cigarettes are an appetite suppressant...thats why all the supermodels smoke em! :joker:
1973 Camper - Bliss
Currently engine-less, awaiting a camper special.

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Amskeptic » Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:16 am

Sylvester wrote:
I assume you sleep in cheap motels, and not every night either. how do you subsist in the badlands in your quest?
How DARE you imply that I am "cheap". Anyways, yes, I sleep in cheap motels every third night. I need to stretch the interval out some more because expenses are still too high. I have met many a hotel proprietor from other nations and we get into some interesting conversations.

I subsist on bananas and broccoli and string cheese and Tostitos brand white corn tortilla chips and water and vitamins and Diet Coke. Every two days I do a yogurt or something. Twice a week I will hit up a little pack of teriyaki beef jerky for whatever amino acids might be needed. In mid-summer I have ice cream attacks. On cold mornings I have coffee, strong. Somehow, my body is OK with this.

I haven't yet set up camps with tree boughs and grasses and hunted for small rodents and I haven't yet caught a fish with my bare hands for a little creekside sushi, but, someday. . . . .
Colin
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

User avatar
Bookwus
IAC Addict!
Location: City of Roses
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Bookwus » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:18 am

Hiya Colin,
Amskeptic wrote:
Somehow, my body is OK with this.
Change "Somehow" to For now. This will catch up with you.
I have cancer.

It does not have me.

User avatar
Amskeptic
IAC "Help Desk"
IAC "Help Desk"
Status: Offline

Re: Itinerant Air-Cooled Greetings From Battle Creek MI

Post by Amskeptic » Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:38 pm

Bookwus wrote:Hiya Colin,
Amskeptic wrote:
Somehow, my body is OK with this.
Change "Somehow" to For now. This will catch up with you.
Who sez? Other than recent back pain episodes, energy is good.
You give short shrift to the element of joy on your health. Try walking under the stars, breathing in the clean desert air, waking to a whole day (or a few hundred of 'em) of your own making. . . Last Wal-Mart blood pressure check was 123/74 resting pulse of 72 with a cup of Starbucks in my other hand. Tri-glycerides were 190 ( a little not good), and blood sugar was 89.
Thanks for your concern. . . . :blackeye:
Colin
BobD - 78 Bus . . . 112,730 miles
Chloe - 70 bus . . . 217,593 miles
Naranja - 77 Westy . . . 142,970 miles
Pluck - 1973 Squareback . . . . . . 55,600 miles
Alexus - 91 Lexus LS400 . . . 96,675 miles

Post Reply