Canada and Canadians

[glasseye]

I found this on the web. I can't justify it, nor can I validate most of it. I did laugh a few times, though. Maybe you can, too.

I AM CANADIAN
So, what to Canadians have to be proud of?

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our football fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple Pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

24. We have coloured money.

25. Our beer advertisments kick ass

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

26. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

oh yeah... and our elections only take one day and are counted by hand.

[drewniverse]

For real? They make the handles that large for that reason?

[ruckman101]

#16, lol

And of course #26. It only makes sense, eh?

Thanks glasseye
neal

[steve74baywin]

I sorta like 11 ana 14

Is it all true?

[Lanval]

I'm not going to fact check all of them, but no, baseball isn't Canadian.

It's early origins (very early) are in English folk games of the type people played before the discovery of the Americas.

The rules we have today derive from the Knickerbocker Rules first written around 1845 in New York. Presumably the game was already being played (hence it's not an originary document) but there's no indication that the game as it's described is in any way Canadian.

Best,

Mike

Seems like the list should include most of Hollywood ~ the list of comedic actors who are Canadian reads like a "who's who" of Hollywood comedy for the last 30 years.

[Velokid1]

First, I love Canada. The Pre-Harper version, anyway. Hopefully we'll see that version again.

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass

If Mr Dress-Up is anything like Mr. Rogers, I have a hunch that kicking isn't what you saw him doing to Mr. Rogers' behind.

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass

OK. Big fan of Tim Hortons here but... no way it even comes close to Dunkin Donuts. One man's opinion, but I do know junkfood.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

That's weak! Trying to hijack plaid from Scotland!



(Actually, I kind of wonder if it can't be argued that plaid technically originated with the Massai people. I also wonder if I spelled that correctly.)

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

Velcro? Are you sure? If you guys really did invent velcro, you win. The modern world is held together by velcro. So is the flap on my lunchbox. Vital.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

This one contradicts #1. I thought you said you were all Smarties.

24. We have coloured money.

Oh yeah? Well, Americans are aware of green being a color. One strike against Canada, for failure to teach colors in elementary school.

25. Our beer advertisments kick ass.

If your beer advertisements have Mr. Dress-Up in them, I don't think it's kicking ass that's going on.

[glasseye]

I'm not going to fact check all of them,

Please do. I have no idea about many of them. I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )

Of course our beer case handles are mitt-friendly! But only in winter. In summer, they change them all make it easier to carry three at once. : )

One item that I would add to the list is:

Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?

[Velokid1]

The Canuckian Rockies definitely do beat the Merican Rockies. And that's saying a lot because our Rockies kick some serious Mr Dress-Up ASS.

[Amskeptic]

Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?

Like, totally? you Canadians are so like hijacking our teenage girl lingo, like FAILLOSERS?
And beautiful hot expansive USA deserts can totally kick? like your Canadian sandboxes at your local pond in the local picket fenced parks, so yippee yi yay?
Colin

[steve74baywin]

I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )
?

YES, the one I like is true.
Oh wait, they taught you that in school.

[RussellK]

I do know that #11 is true. At least, they taught us that in school. : )
?

YES, the one I like is true.
Oh wait, they taught you that in school.

Steve you cracked me up with that.

[hambone]

Take off ya hosers.

[grandfatherjim]

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

Velcro? Are you sure? If you guys really did invent velcro, you win. The modern world is held together by velcro. So is the flap on my lunchbox. Vital.

Yes - my father, way back, worked for a company in Montreal that wholesaled sewing notions. This guy came to them asking if they would sell his new invention, Velcro, but they didn't see any practical use for it so declined.

[glasseye]

Our Rocky mountains kick USA Rocky Mountains asses, like, TOTALLY, ay?

Like, totally? you Canadians are so like hijacking our teenage girl lingo, like FAILLOSERS?
:

Just trying to communicate in language you'll understand, pal.

As for your deserts: No contest.

Your desserts? Not so much.

[grandfatherjim]

Shreddies!

Ekhart Tolle!

The Robertson screwdriver!